Sweetest Silence
by Dumbledoor
Summary: Several one shots: 1. Edward; 2. Jacob; 3. Bella; 4. Jacob
1. Eternity

**Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Edward Cullen**

"Edward." She sweetly whispered my name, a graceful smile on her lips. I was sure mine were doing the same, for Bella's happiness was truly contagious. It will forever be my principal goal, her happiness, and I believe nothing can change that.

As I lay beside my love's sleeping form, all my worries crept away. It was comical how a little creature like her should affect me. I wonder if she will ever realize that everything she does, everything about her, would always send my feelings to a cataclysmic state.

"Jake. No." Her face contorted in pain, and immediately I was angered by the effect _he_ had on her physiognomy. The effect he had on her, and his knowledge of this fact. To think that Jacob Black had used Bella's feelings and delicacy to his favor. Images of _his_ fantasies and dreams flooded my mind, and I couldn't help but feel some sort of pity. He was right; he was so close to achieving his ultimate goal. I chuckled to myself at the turn of events, of how_ I_ had captured the bigger part of her heart.

I looked down at my angel's face, and, upon seeing worry etched on her forehead, I frowned. She would be waking up soon, and she would remember her concern for the werewolf. This is one of the drawbacks of being thought of first. The human memory tends to remember the ending better than the introduction.

Slowly, she opened her warm brown eyes, and I forced my face to smile. She did the same, and I could feel myself being genuinely happy. The incessant drumming of her chest, the sanguine on her cheeks, and the feel of her skin assure me I was doing the right thing. As long as she had these, there was still hope that she would change her mind about staying mortal.

It would be absolutely excruciating to let her go, but then who would care for my misery? My suffering would be nothing compared to hers.

"Good morning." I greeted her, placing a kiss on her neck. I could feel her blood, racing through the intricately designed veins, and I knew she was starting to fully wake.

"Hi." She whispered. There was uncertainty in her voice, and I could only assume it was because of her self-consciousness about her vivid dreams. She stood up, and I allowed her her "human minute". It was in this time, when I was away from her, when I would imagine Bella's life without me.

She would have been a wonderful mother. Jacob Black would have made her happy. She would be by the warmth of sunlight, the days and human experiences aging her. I smiled at the thought, in melancholy and in wishful thinking. There was still hope, I reminded myself. My interference in her life shouldn't get in the way of it. But yet, it already has, and I hate myself for it.

"Are you thinking again?" I was taken from my thoughts to a much pleasant sight.

"Bella." Immediately I was by her side, embracing and kissing her. If this was what made her happier than the moment before, then so be it.

When I pulled away, I looked in her dazed eyes, and I smiled. Her cheeks were burning bright, and it only added to my cherished moments. I've been having a lot of those lately, but basically they are all the times I have spent with Bella.

"How'd you sleep?"

She lowered her gaze. "I'm sure _you_ have an idea."

Damn that mongrel for making her worry! Here I was, trying to make her happy, but she thinks of him and grief takes over cheerfulness. "Bella, he's fine. You shouldn't worry."

"But I can't help it Edward, because I _know_ it's my fault. I just don't know what to do!"

Wrapping my arm gently around her shoulder, I led her to her kitchen. "To be sure, he's still in love with you," Bella drew in a sharp breath, "but he understands. Only _you_ have a say on the matter."

I placed her on the counter, and gave her lips a light kiss. I didn't want her to say anything yet, for she needed to eat first.

"So, what did you want to eat?" I leaned in the refrigerator, eyeing all the human foods. The Swans seemed to be out of milk, so cereal was not an option today. I scowled at the open box of Poptarts and shut the fridge.

Bella shrugged. "We haven't been to the grocery for a while."

"I'll run to the store and get you something." How could I be forgetful of human needs such as restocking food supplies?

"Edward, wait." She said it softly, but in the silence of the house I heard her loud and clear. I ran back to her, and she looked thoughtful. No, she looked _hopeful_.

"Yes?" Did she want to go to La Push? But this couldn't be a possibility, because I knew their parting was for an indefinite time.

She shifted in her seat. "I was thinking...Do you think I should call him? It's only been two weeks, but —"

I sighed. She wanted to talk to him. It hurt me to know my love wasn't enough for her complete happiness. If only I'd never left her, things would've been much different.

"Do you think it's best?" I said, careful to seem casual.

"I just need to hear his voice."

I only nodded. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

* * *

Heart wrenching.

I've only heard a little of their conversation, but I didn't have to listen to know she was crying. She would be losing everything, he'd said, and she'd lose herself in the process.

I wouldn't let it happen. Bella knows this. Even _he_ knows this. But that doesn't stop us from fearing what's to come.

A few minutes later and I was with her again, but our minds were clouded with troubles, permeated with regret.

She had to understand. She had to fully know what she'd be putting herself into.

"Bella, you can't be happy without him." I started with the facts, reasoning as I went along.

She caught on, but didn't argue. Open-minded as she was, she could be stubborn, and I was glad she didn't pick today to be the latter.

"Jacob makes you happy, and I know how you feel about him." She loved him; she felt for him. "I want you to know, as much as it would affect me, I'm ready to accept any decision you make."

Her face held so many emotions, but I tried to make mine withdrawn.

She shook her head. "Edward. I've already chosen."

I thought too soon; she was being tenacious. "Bella, just _try_ to think about it. You'll be happy either way." I smiled. At least I had _that_.

"No. I won't do that to you." Her voice trembled a bit, but her eyes screamed defiance.

"Don't let my feelings affect your decision."

She faced forward, like I was at the moment, but we were not paying any attention to the pictures the television was showing. "Edward, I am ready. I've told you that. I _want_ to do this."

I gritted my teeth. "How could you want this? Clearly you haven't been thinking of the consequences, of what your life will be like!"

"I just want to be with you!" She exclaimed passionately, and I was momentarily mesmerized by her insistence, "And don't you _dare_ say you're not worth eternal damnation! Any life with you is the opposite of a life in hell."

She couldn't think that. No. Her life, her humanity, was deserving of so much more.

"As much as I would want to, you shouldn't spend an eternity with me."

"So you want me to spend the next 60 or so years of my life with another?"

Yes. That's exactly what I wanted her to do. But it was also the cruelest of punishments. Try as I might, I couldn't suppress my selfishness. I wanted Bella for me. She was the reason I still exist.

More than anything, I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be human.

"You could be both." I muttered to myself. Somehow, she thinks she'll never be happy without me, so it was becoming improbable.

"What?" Bella asked.

I looked at her. "It doesn't have anything to do with what _I_ want."

"Yes it does," she argued, "I want what you want. I'd like to make you happy."

She could make me happy with a blink of her eye. With every smile, every word she speaks, I become the happiest man on earth.

"I want what's best for you." And frankly, I'm not it.

She must've guessed what it was I wanted. "Well, then in that case I'm sticking with _my_ opinion."

"Bella — " She interrupted me, cradling my face with her small hands.

"Edward, we've talked about this a thousand times." She rolled her eyes. "So give it up. You can't change my mind."

I smiled wistfully. "That won't stop me from trying."

"But we're _engaged_ for crying out loud!" At this I took her ringed hand and kissed every finger. My late mother's ring, set on my love's finger. It was an impossible dream come true! "You're telling me you'd leave me at the altar?"

"What?" I snapped, horrified. Her tone was playful, but there was meaning behind the jest. "Bella, I'd kill myself before I even think of doing such a thing."

"I know," she spoke softly, and continued to caress my jaw, "So no one leaves the other when we get married, correct?"

"When we get married." I repeated. "But you have a choice Bella, and I'm ready for it."

She blessed me with a kiss. It was too soft, in my opinion, but her kisses all had the same effect: unique bliss.

"I already told you. You just need to accept it." She tangled her fingers in my hair, putting our faces closer.

She really was evil. And she accused _me_ of dazzling her. What do you call this, then? How am I supposed to deal with such a creature?

"This will be an interesting eternity." I stated, taking her in my arms and fully looking at her eyes.

The sweetest silence then ensued, but to me it was filled with so much declarations, and so many solutions to all our problems. Her beaming smile, her brightened eyes, and the flush of her cheeks all spoke for her, and I was free to interpret them any way I wanted. Love is sadistic, but it has its moments.

* * *


	2. Settling

**Jacob Black**

_You have to come back to us sometime Jacob. It's been long enough. Stop this._

Sam's order echoed continually in my mind, but I've found the will to disobey him. At first, my brothers were astonished, but overtime that feeling turned into jealousy. I'm not smug, but a little freedom is welcome. This ability to resist the leader—it gives me...satisfaction.

_Your father wants you at the house, _said Sam's stern voice, _Now. _

Thinking it best not to worry Billy further, I ran toward my small home. It took about ten seconds, then I phased back. After getting dressed (I think Billy would appreciate that) I saw Billy sitting on his wheelchair, watching the news.

"Hey Billy," I entered through the small door and collapsed on the couch.

He looked at me, then nodded to the kitchen table. There was a plate full of food.

"Thanks," I grabbed the plate and started eating. "So what is it this time?" I asked, in between chews.

Billy looked so concerned, just like a loving parent, that it pained me to know it was I who caused all his worries.

"Jacob," his face was solemn, his voice kind, "These past weeks have been hard, I know. But you can move on. She's not the—"

He stopped when I slammed the dish on the table, breaking both furnitures in the process. I could feel myself trembling. I tried shaking my head no, but I couldn't. Billy sighed, as if disappointed with my reaction. He was used to my sudden "episodes" by now.

"You know this. You can't have her." His voice was shaky, but it was strong.

Taking deep breaths, I whispered, "I know, I know." Isn't that the very reason I'm like this? "But I'll get over it, I'm sure." We both knew that if something drastic didn't happen, nothing can change my state.

Billy smiled, a pensive look on his face. "Have you tried? At _all_?"

"She's not that easy to forget. I still love her. I still hate _him_. And I especially hate _them_."

"That's not going to make things better." He wheeled beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Think of the pack. Think of who you are."

"You mean _what_ I am." I corrected. I didn't fail to notice the slight arrogance in my tone.

He sighed again, but there was something else he wanted to tell me. "I think it's time to fulfill your duty."

"What do you mean?" Was there something I forgot to do? Paul and Embry never mentioned anything—

Billy recited, "You're the destined leader of the wolves, Jacob. Not Sam. He understands this, and has known for quite some time."

I looked at his too-serious face. "Are you telling me that I _have_ to be the leader?"

To be the head of something I didn't want to be in the first place—to be the leader—would be the most merciless suffering to befall me. It was the very fact that I was a werewolf that kept me apart from her and the ones she loved. Those vampires she tolerated and called family. The place where her home belonged.

Billy's mouth was moving, but I couldn't decipher his words. All I could think of was her. Him. Them. Together. Forever. I chuckled at the absurdity of it all.

"Jacob!" I turned toward the sharp voice, and saw Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared, clad in jean shorts and pants, no doubt having just finished their run. They were standing in a way that the sunlight from the window clearly showed their incredulous faces, staring at me.

"What?" It was getting annoying, all this concern for my emotions. From the corner of my eye, Billy threw a pleading look at the four boys, and I knew they had planned this.

Embry spoke first. "Look, I think you already have an idea why we're here...so I'll just cut to the chase. You need to stop all this moping around and do what you're supposed to do. We need you Jake, esp—"

"Don't call me Jake." I growled. It was surprising, the slowness of my anger's dissipation.

Jared rolled his eyes. "You can't do anything to change your fate, Jacob. C'mon. You gotta lighten up. Being first in command isn't _that_ bad." He's been feeling particularly happy these days. He had imprinted on a girl named Anna, and apparently she's the "most perfect angel anyone could ask for."

"But Sam's a good leader." I insisted. I didn't want to do this. I never did.

Quil walked toward me, and with a few long strides I was completely facing him. Exposed. Vulnerable.

"No doubt he is," Quil's voice was sympathetic, yet determined, "But _you_ could be greater. Face it, Jacob; you're Alpha."

I winced, thinking about her, about our conversation on my position in the pack. _"Chief Jacob,"_ she had whispered so playfully.

"No."

"This is not about you, Jake. _We _need you."

"Why the hell would you need me? There aren't any—" I paused, slowing my breath, "There aren't any _dangers _around. And I told you not to call me Jake."

Paul smirked. It seemed my suffering was their only form of entertainment these days. I sneered at him.

"Well," Embry said, "You never know. We've been detecting new scents. Somewhere from the mountains. They come and go, but they're there."

I smiled. "Why don't we let them get closer? Then we can_ kill_ 'em." We'll tear apart their lifeless bodies, then burn every fragment. The more they writhe, the more I'd crush out their entrails. I smirked at the _Wuthering Heights_ reference. She did like the oddest things.

I saw Paul and Jared exchange confused looks, and it only made me more sardonic than I needed to be. I shook my head in amusement.

Suddenly, I was sprawled on the floor, pinned down by my four_ brothers_. Billy had gone to the other room.

"Hey, get off me!" They held firm, and I felt like a monster being confined.

"No, you gotta listen!" Quil shouted angrily. They shifted my whole body around so I was now on my stomach, twisting my arms so I couldn't even concentrate on phasing.

"What the hell?" I was furious, for I couldn't even escape.

Paul, who was holding down my right leg, gripped it tighter. It didn't hurt much, but it was aggravating.

"Jacob you _are_ going to move on!" Embry's voice was booming and strict, like a teacher's. Great—now I was being treated like a child.

"And we _will_ help you through it!" Jared's confidence was enough to make me hurl. Or spit on him.

"Ow!" I yelled, feeling my jawbone crack. "What was that for?"

"You spit on me!"

I rolled my eyes, then huffed. "This isn't gonna do anything. Let me go!"

"Stop being such an idiot and listen will ya?"

"Well, tell me, Quil—since you seem to be the expert, how _should_ I react when I'm being _pounded_ to the ground by all of you!"

Embry gave an impatient growl and pulled me up, motioning for the others to do the same. I ended up sitting on the kitchen chair, which was in the middle of all the former table's debris.

"We'll clean all those up later." Quil noted, eyeing the pieces of wood and broken plate.

I crossed my arms, preparing to defy everything they would reason with me. "Well?"

"First," Paul pointed a finger at me, his eyes wide with sternness, "You gotta be open-minded and actually _listen_."

I grunted, but nodded in conformity. Better to get this over with.

"To put it soundly," he looked at the three, then back at me, "We want you to be happy."

"Well thanks, but—"

"No, see? Open-minded!"

"Fine." I raised my arms in surrender. "What did you have in mind?"

Jared smiled. "We're going hiking."

I raised my eyebrow. Hiking?

As if reading my mind, Embry interjected, "Well, not hiking, but more like hunting. We run around and kill some overpopulated animals, such as deer and bears."

"Or if we're lucky, mountain lions." Quil added. Jared seemed to be remembering a pleasant memory.

"That's fun?" I asked confusedly. "Honestly, that sounds a lot like what vampires do." I was relieved by the evenness of my voice at the mention of them. I really did not want to ruin the mood, seeing as they were giving me a chance to enjoy myself. It's been a while since I laughed with joy.

They were fidgety when I mentioned vampires, but saw that I remained calm.

"Well, we only do it for sport." Jared rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're going to _drink_ their blood. That's just wrong."

"Still," I snapped, "They're gonna be dead once we're through with them."

Embry groaned. "Don't tell me you're backing out."

The more I thought about it, killing animals started to sound like a good idea.

"I'll go," I tried to sound nonchalant, "I mean, if bloodsuckers kill 'em for survival, then we should be able to do it for fun, right?"

Truthfully, I did not understand my own logic, but we just went along with it.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Paul ran toward the outdoors. For him, it was easier to phase when he was in high speeds. It got his adrenaline running, he said.

The rest of us followed, and pretty soon we were running to Goat's Head, undetected by the few unsuspecting humans. The feel of running truly is unique. It's about the only thing I like about being a werewolf. Everything else, I don't want to be part of. I was beyond human, and my problems were immensely similar. Who would want to be Superman now?

_Jacob! Concentrate, I see a few ten miles ahead. _Sure enough, Embry was looking at three deer, two of which appeared to be quite young.

_That's the perfect age: they're faster, and they're still pretty quick on the brains. The mother, though, I think we should leave alone. _

I growled, and, to show my annoyance, I gave Embry's form a rough push, making him stumble and fall. I coughed a laugh, and though the others continued their hike, they were more than amused. I stuck my tongue out at Embry's scowling face, and caught up with the others.

_Jacob first? _I could feel Jared's excitement at my trial, and was very hopeful for my failure.

I grinned. _Watch and learn._

Seeming it fair, I howled softly at the deer, challenging the biggest of the two young ones. Its big brown eyes stared back, defensive and defiant. The smaller deer, upon realizing the danger, cowered behind its mother.

_Go for it. _Embry snarled, waiting for me to make my advance.

Without hesitation, I pounced on the animal, biting at its hind leg. A yelp was all it took for me to give another blow, tearing the deer's fur-covered skin. From a distance I saw the other two deer sprint away, not wanting to experience the same fate.

My teeth gnashed and foamed with rage—from what, I could never guess; killing was irrational, and so was I at the moment. My useless prey was limp, but I continued attacking the dead thing, clawing and tearing some more.

I could feel my brothers' concern for my aggressiveness. Serves them right—they're the ones who invited me.

Finding the deer's corpse into untearable pieces, I stopped. Its head was still whole, but the rest of the body was unidentifiable. There was too much blood to tell which was which.

Four wolves stared at me, with one thought in their awed minds: _Damn._

I snarled, showing my bloodstained teeth, then glanced at the deer's head. It was inanimate, of course, but my breath caught when I looked at its eyes. Brown, innocent, defenseless, and defeated. Brown, just like the color of her eyes—Bella's human eyes.

_Jacob, calm down. It's just a deer. People hunt deer all the time. Don't think about_—_damn it! _

Before they could stop me, I was running. Different blurs of green rushed through me, and I could hear angry thoughts in my head. But I ignored them, concentrating on increasing my speed.

I ran, with full knowledge that those brown eyes would haunt me. They always did. I had a chance to save them from turning lifeless, but I failed.

Had I done everything I can? I believed so, but not anymore. How is it possible that they—death—should win so easily? Why did life have to be so delicate?

_Slow down. _Quil wasn't far behind, but I moved even faster, and eventually they couldn't keep up.

My thoughts were in too much a muddle to figure anything out.

_Need a talk? _Sam appeared, and I noticed everyone else's visions had faded. I stopped running, finding myself in a little clearing of the forest.

_Just for a minute. _I took calming breaths, giving my legs some rest.

Within a few moments, I was sitting on a rock (Sam brought some clothes), and Sam was lying on the cool grass.

"So, where do we begin?" His voice was gentle and understanding, though I knew for a fact he hadn't been through what I had.

I sighed. "I just don't get it. How could she choose the leeches, the eternally damned, when she had the choice of living a better life? I could make her happy just as much as _he_ ever can."

Sam nodded, but didn't say anything. He gestured for me to continue.

"It just hurts—how could she do this? Not just to me, but to her family, to her life..." My voice broke, but I had to let at least _some_ of it all out.

"My one and only light, succumbing to darkness. It shouldn't be that way. Couldn't she see that? Was there really _nothing_ I could've done?"

If I took a guess, Sam's pained expression was caused by my passionate desperation and spilling tears.

"It took everything I had not to yell at her! The last time we met, I remained calm! She really _was_ accepting a life of a vampire! A vampire, Sam, a goddamn bloodsucking vampire!"

I was truly sobbing then, and I put my face in my hands. I felt weak, but I felt even more angry.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Jacob." He stayed on the ground, but I could tell he was looking at me.

I sighed, though it was shaky and uneven. "I didn't do anything right, either."

"Jacob, Bella chose her life. It's her life." I managed a scowl, and Sam added, "Granted, her life affects yours in the biggest of ways, but it's still her life."

"What is it with Edward Cullen? How can she love him so?"

He shook his head. "You can't help who you love."

"But was it meant to be?" I raised my head. "Think about it. If there were no vampires, they would have never met."

"_If_ there were no vampires. That's the thing, the world is just a messed up place. Love breaks all the rules. It's not conquered by anything."

It wasn't Bella's fate to be with him. Somewhere deep inside me, I knew; it was only by chance they fell in love. That's what hurt the most.

I stood up, wiping my tears away. "Even if I understood why Bella chose him over me, it wouldn't make things better."

Sam only nodded.

I sighed, shaking my head. "I can't believe it; I'm saying goodbye. I mean, I gave up fighting long ago..."

"But now you're giving up waiting for her." Sam finished for me.

"I just hope she's alright, wherever she is."

Forcing myself not to think about it, I phased and headed home, with Sam following my lead.

* * *


	3. Fast

**Bella Swan**

Why did he have to be so insistent?

We were in the meadow, and the love of my life was currently the most annoying fiancee in the galaxy.

"Edward," I said, in what I hoped to be a stern voice, "I _will_ marry you. I will _not_ leave you, and I especially _will_ become a vampire! Get it in your head!"

Normally I would have scolded myself for speaking to him in such a way, but he had been asking me the same questions for the past week: _Are you sure you'll be happy? Is eternal darkness what you really want? Do you fully know what you're putting yourself through?_

"But Bella," his voice was full of concern, but he had a wistful smile, "I don't want you to do this unless you're absolutely sure."

He had my face in his hands, and it was only his firm grip that was keeping me from making our lips meet. My eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm only sure if _you_ still want me to." Was this his way of telling me he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore?

"What?" Panic struck his glorious face. "Bella, you could be so unbelievable at times. You know what I want."

"You want what's best for me. You never said you wanted to spend an eternity with me."

His eyes burned with anger. I admit, I still got nervous whenever that happened. "Well, now you know." With that, he proceeded to kiss me full on the mouth, pressing our bodies close. One good thing about becoming a vampire: Edward will not hear my erratic heart beating anymore.

When he pulled away, I could still see sadness in his eyes. I groaned.

"Don't tell me you're still hoping?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm accepting."

I didn't know whether to smile or question at his dark mood. Thinking it best, I did both.

"What's really bothering you?" His mind was always somewhere far away, and, even though he told me his thoughts, I knew he never told all. It was our minds that were our sole secrets from each other. I'm sure we never intended it to be so, but we didn't really want to hear each other's thoughts. Like Edward said a long time ago, I just didn't want him thinking such things. At least, I assumed he was thinking the worst. He always was. I wondered if he always will be. I had an inclination to find out.

Edward didn't say anything, and his expression was thoughtful, though his eyes were intensely staring into mine. Topaz never looked so frightful.

I held on to his shoulders, sighing. "Always brooding, you are."

"I'm sorry." He smiled, and the fire in his eyes softened. "It's just—everything is so unreal."

"What do you mean?"

He removed my hands from him, and walked around the clearing. I pouted.

His back was turned on me, and I could clearly see the skin on his neck glistening in the sunlight. Another good thing about becoming a vampire: my skin sparkles beautifully under the sun. I sat down on the grass, the warmth going through me.

"Well," Edward continued to circle the meadow, "For one thing, I can't believe you're so sure about your decision. I've told you of the consequence many times—"

"_Many_ times." I interrupted. He smiled apologetically.

"Yes, I have told you repeatedly. So by now I'm pretty sure you know what you're doing." He stopped, both in walking and in speech, studying the bark of a fallen tree.

"What can't you believe, then? That I love you?" I've told him those three words twenty times more than he told me of his worries. "Because Edward, you need to understand: life as a vampire, even with all the blood involved, will be nothing when I spend forever with you." Yet another good thing about becoming a vampire: Edward will be mine, I his, eternally. No amount of time and space will change that.

His head nodded. "I know you love me, and I have no objections with _that_, though I can never know how you think I'm enough to make up for all the bad things about being a vampire. But I'll try, Bella, I'll do everything I can to give you the happiest damnation."

"Silly Edward. You don't have to try; you just have to be happy." It was true. Whenever he smiled in genuine mirth, my world was a heavenly place all over again.

His face turned to me, shock replacing calm when he registered what I said. "But I don't care about my happiness, I only care about yours."

I scowled. "Well _I_ care about your happiness, and you should too!"

In a second, he was seated in front of me. There was a pulling force emanating from his body, and I took that excuse to crawl closer toward him. He lifted me so I was sitting on his lap sideways, my hands around his neck.

"Bella," Edward's whisper shot sparks throughout my whole form, reaching my heart and soul. He kissed my jaw slowly, and I could feel his tongue sliding across, taking small tastes of my burning skin.

I closed my eyes, but quickly opened them when I felt his face pull away.

"Ed—" Before I could get another word, his cold fingertips silenced me. His eyes were clouded by a strong emotion, and his lips were set in a grim line.

"Bella," he whispered again, caressing my face with his large hands, "If I was to _truly_ pursuit my happiness, without hesitation, you wouldn't be human right now."

My eyes widened. "Well—"

It seemed he didn't want me to say anything yet, for he lowered his face for another kiss. This one had more pressure to it, and I could feel myself being pushed back. One of his hands moved to the back of my neck, and tilted my head upward, making me open my lips slightly. I felt the coldness pass through my throat, entering my body. I wanted him to consume me whole.

Edward stopped so I could catch my breath, and I pouted. "That's not very nice." He was being a tease, and he knew it.

But I looked at his eyes, and there was no hint of playfulness at all. He had a wild look on his face, and it both terrified and amazed me.

"Edward? Are you alright?" One more good thing about becoming a vampire: there would be no more of these ridiculous (but necessary, as Edward always said) physical boundaries.

My voice snapped him out of his daze.

"I'm sorry," he sounded ashamed. I twirled his hair around my fingers, as if telling him it's not his fault.

He shook his head, then chuckled blackly. "But do you see what I mean? If I did what I wanted, if I listened to my desires, you wouldn't be human."

"You mean you would've turned me already?" I thought for a second, then added, "Or you would have drank my blood?"

He winced at the coolness of my voice. "I was referring to your being a vampire. If I did what I wanted, I would've turned you ages ago. I would've done—_everything_ with you."

"So why don't you do it already?" I was whining, but this was all so frustrating!

"Because _you_ are more important than my happiness." He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"But you're happiness is my happiness too! So technically, you're making _me_ unhappy when you make yourself unhappy."

"I never said I was unhappy."

"But you're not fully satisfied."

"Are you saying _you're_ not fully satisfied?"

I blushed. "This is getting _way_ too confusing."

"That may be true," Edward chuckled, kissing my cheek, "but you've successfully strayed away from the topic, so let's talk about something else."

I swear he was lying when he said he couldn't read my mind.

I laid my head on his shoulder, keeping my arms circled around his neck. "Or maybe we shouldn't talk at all," I murmured, savoring everything that was Edward.

"I agree," he slid his hand down to my back, "Our conversations always seem to touch upon the most sensitive of subjects."

"Well, you always bring it up." I joked.

"Because I can never be sure," Edward said against my hair, "I _want_ you to be human, yet I don't."

"No, you want _for me_ to be human. Let our wants have a say, and we'll _both_ be happy. That's what's best."

"Sounds good to me." Yet there was sadness in his tone.

"I want to spend _all_ my time with you." No matter the duration. "It's insane, really, how I can't live without you."

Edward laughed softly. "Well, that's love."He started playing with my hair, smoothing it down then twisting it around his fingers.

"Hmm..." he mused, "So, _now_ should I turn you?" His tone was light, but I knew that if I said so, he'd do it.

"I would say yes," And I really wanted to, "but our wedding is in three days. Wouldn't want Charlie and Renee to see me then, you know?"

I looked at his face, and I gasped. He was positively glowing. There was no other way to put it—he was my god.

"Three days." He beamed, kissing me as if there was no tomorrow. Though we would have all the time in the world, this hastened embrace was most welcome.

* * *


	4. Hopeless

**Jacob Black**

"Guys, this is stupid and worthless!" I yelled, but Sam and Quil just tugged on my arms harder, stumbling me forward. I dug my feet in the sand, but it was two against one.

"Come on, Jacob, you have to imprint _some_ time."

"But does it have to be _here_?" They ignored my incredulity and continued to lead me toward the booth.

When we were in front of the stall, I made a run for it, but Sam just yanked me back by my shirt.

"Jacob you're _not_ getting away with this," With that he forced me to sit on the stool, where I had a perfect view of the summer carnival from the station's window.

"Sam, _you're_ suppose to follow me, not—"

"STEP RIGHT UP FOR THE KISSING BOOTH! FIFTY CENTS!" His voice boomed in a megaphone, magnifying my humiliation by a thousand times.

"Fifty cen—"

"COME ON LADIES—OR GENTS! THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME CHANCE TO KISS THE _SIZZLING_ JACOB BLACK!"

I was beyond shocked. Quil was holding me down, his shoulders shaking with laughter. A group of laughing girls was making its way over here.

"No! No no no! I am _not_ doing this, Sam!" I tried to wrench free from Quil's grasp, but too late; a line was forming.

"DON'T BE SHY, PEOPLE! JACOB BLACK IS ONLY FIFTY CENTS AWAY!" I am going to kill Sam Uley when I get out of here.

Just then, Leah and Embry appeared. Leah was eating blue cotton candy, and Embry was grinning like an idiot.

"Great," I muttered.

Embry nodded to Quil. "Did it just start?"

"Yup," Quil said, "There's a bunch of tourists coming, so there should be plenty of variety."

I grumbled. "I cannot believe you would do this to me," But on second thought, I should've known better.

"ALRIGHT! WE HAVE OUR FIRST CUSTOMER! STEP RIGHT UP MISS, AND MEET JACOB BLACK!" Sam led a tall girl, who looked like she was twelve, and had her blonde hair in a high ponytail. I sat frozen in my seat.

"Hi," she leaned in the booth. "I'm Nicole."

Someone clapped my back, making my mouth close with a snap.

I gave a scowl in Sam's direction, who was looking at me expectantly.

"Jacob," I curtly said, looking in her steel blue eyes, when she smacked my unsuspecting lips with her wet, kiwi-flavored ones.

It took all of eight seconds for Nicole to withdraw her mouth, leaving me horrified and twitchy. She winked at me, then ran toward the beach.

How can twelve year olds be so...aggressive?

Behind me Quil, Embry, and Leah were laughing so hard, they were rolling on the ground.

"Well I hope you enjoy it!" I tried to keep as much dignity as possible, though I knew it all went away with Nicole's kiss.

I crossed my arms, wondering why I was even staying. I looked around, and it seemed that only Sam was paying attention.

Just when I stood up, two pairs of arms confined me to the stool. Damn.

Leah leaned close to my ear. "You're staying right here," she whispered, "until you've given _all those girls_," she nodded toward the line of about thirty people, "what they've paid for."

I squinted, trying to calculate how long it would take. As I scoured the customers, my eyes popped open.

"What the—" I was at a loss for words. "Is that a..._guy_ back there?"

"Oh. My. God." Quil gasped.

There is no way I'm kissing a guy. No way in hell.

"Maybe he'll leave?" Embry suggested. I narrowed my eyes at him.

* * *

"Sixty-three dollars." Sam announced, placing the last quarter in the glass jar.

I wiped my mouth of the days' torture. "_That_," I snatched the jar, "belongs to me."

"Why should it all go to you?" Quil protested angrily.

I gave him a sour look. "_I'm_ the one who got all types of kisses—wet, bloody, choking, smelly, biting..." My mouth turned to a frown, thinking of all the adjectives in between.

"Don't forget the homosexual ones." Sam chimed in. Quil and Embry snickered.

"I told you to never mention that again!"

"What?" Sam put on an innocent face. "Richard and Michael were _very_ nice. If I recall clearly, they each gave you two dollars for your service. You must've done a good job."

The other two were full out laughing by then, and my face was hot with my never-ending embarrassment.

"Tell me again why we made Jacob do that," Quil cried out, after wiping tears from his eyes.

"All part of your stupid plan to get me imprinted." I said sulkily. Did they honestly think I would meet that special someone at a kissing booth? Probably not. They just wanted to see me suffer.

"It's better than nothing," Sam said.

"I kissed more than 120 people today."

"Well, now you know those people aren't for you."

"This is hopeless._ I _am hopeless."

Embry patted me on the back. "You keep looking. She'll come around. Or, maybe you've already met her. You just gotta look again."

"Maybe," I repeated.

Quil looked at the time. "Oh wow, it's eight. Claire's bedtime."

He swiftly ran, leaving Sam, Embry and me to sit in awkward silence.

"So..." Sam started, "where's Billy?"

"Sue's house. Where's Emily?"

"At home. She's cooking..." he said pensively, as if imagining she was right here.

"_My_ darling's still at the carnival." Embry put in. He, too, had that far away look, his eyes looking out the window every few seconds.

I nodded, then resumed to put my chin on the palm of my hand. Minutes ticked by.

_Tick...tock...tick...tock..._

"Oh just go to your lovers already!" I yelled at both of them.

They looked at me, startled, but didn't say another word as they left.

I wanted to feel that. I wanted to love someone unconditionally, and be another girl's everything. But alas, she seems not to be found.

I sighed, glancing outside. People were bustling about, having the time of the summer.

"Well, there's always T.V." And once again, I experience the luxury of being alone.

* * *


End file.
